


Back To December

by J-Bfan (Mysterie)



Series: Surrounding Shadows [1]
Category: Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Angst, Death, Drugs, Love, M/M, Song-based fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-22
Updated: 2015-03-22
Packaged: 2018-03-19 00:59:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3590346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mysterie/pseuds/J-Bfan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I do not own "Back to December" by Taylor Swift</p></blockquote>





	1. I Haven't Seen You In a While

**[Jack's POV]**

 

 

I couldn't remember the last time I'd seen him. My first believer... no that wasn't quite true. I had been away for years... Four years to be exact, but then again I couldn't handle what had happened between us four years ago. I mean, it wasn't anything bad per say, but I had barely begun to accept what it meant to get touch from others again really. Then he'd suddenly sprung on me the most surprising thing of my life... I mean, he was only 14! I guess that meant he was 18 now... North kept telling me how Jamie was wishing for me, but after I told the other Guardian why I was avoiding my best friend and my first believer he understood and hadn't pressed me to go see Jamie. Something I was grateful for, but now I wished I hadn't left. I feel... so guilty really and I can only imagine how the time has crept by for him, a mortal, while to me four years is nothing at all. I guess it's something that has become the norm for me being that I'm over 300 years old. 

 

The first place I check is his house. I can't say I'm anything short of surprised when I realize that not only are the curtains were drawn, but the light was off as well. Where could Jamie be at this hour? I mean, normally he didn't stay out after dark except when he'd been a kid and then it had been with me... I felt a pang. I missed him, more than I knew that I should. I had wronged him, leaving that night as I had without giving him any answer, without telling him how I felt. I hadn't known what I'd felt back then... in fact, it had taken me two years to get it straight and then I'd spent the last two arguing over as to whether or not it was right... I decided to check my pond next.

 

That was a bust too... I wasn't sure where he'd be. I decided that there was only one other thing to do; I'd have to go searching all over Burgess and hope that I could find him. I decided I'd start by checking all of the houses of his friends. After all, there had been six kids who had helped defend the world against Pitch ten years ago. So was he maybe with one of them? It was a long shot, but they'd always seemed like a close knit group even after all the years that had passed since they had seen the other Guardians. So that's what I did... 


	2. Mistake

This was wrong. He  **knew** it was and that his real friends would think him stupid. Jamie knew this wasn't the answer, but he'd just wanted the pain to stop... Wanted to forget the mistake he'd made. He couldn't take it back, couldn't deny it anymore. He felt so tired. Was this really what it was like to die? What it meant to die? His life wasn't flashing before his eyes as he'd heard would happen. He closed his eyes, slumped against a wall; no one at the party noticed he was fading... This had all been such a mistake...

 

 

**Four years and 3 Weeks Ago**

 

Jamie grinned as he lay in the snow, using his arms and legs to make a snow angel before hoisting himself up to look at his work. 

"You're getting better!" Jamie glanced over at his best friend, the winter Guardian, Jack Frost. He couldn't help the blush even as he asked.

"You think so?" 

"Yeah." Jamie's feelings for Jack had been a deep abiding friendship up until his birthday. It was hard to pretend everything was normal. That his blushes were due to the cold; that his heart didn't race every time he caught a glimpse of that blue hoodie; white hair or just met those brilliant blue eyes with his own brown ones... that his palms were damp from snow... He pretended, for Jack, but he couldn't fool himself; he was falling hard for his best friend. He was afraid of telling him, not because he thought Jack would be angry but because he feared he'd lose their friendship.

 

**Four years, 1 week ago**

 

"Jamie? Is something wrong?" Jamie sat staring at his hands. He... He could - no.. he couldn't tell him. His chest tightened and his cheeks felt like they were on fire.

"You aren't sick are you?"

"N-no." He backed away when he saw Jack float over to the bed he was sitting on to test his temperature as he'd done a time when Jamie  **had** been sick; this would be so much easier if he was sick. He'd been trying to avoid Jack for the past two weeks because it was getting harder and harder to be around the winter spirit without just blurting out everything. Jack stared at him in hurt confusion and he sighed.

"You've been trying to avoid me and I wanna know why." Jamie blinked, Jack knew?!?! He thought he'd been discreet... No getting around this.

"I'm sorry Jack... it's just... I like you okay? Not as a friend, not as a brother..." He trailed off, glancing over to see there was pure shock on his friend's face.

"I... I didn't want to lose you as a friend... I've tried so hard... I just ... I can't help it." Jack just stared mutely. What did Jamie expect him to say? The boy seemed to be pleading for him to say something, but all Jack could do was stare.

"I... I think I should go..." Jack said and snatched up his staff.

"Jack! Please!" The boy cried, it made Jack wince; there was such hurt in that voice and he wished he wasn't the cause but he knew he was... He.. he needed to think this through and it wasn't possible with the boy nearby so he simply left.


	3. Fin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own "Back to December" by Taylor Swift

Jack heard the song floating along the air, it was kind of loud for a party, but he'd looked everywhere else and hadn't been able to find Jamie. Was the boy here? It would be a long shot really, but he wasn't sure where else he'd be without asking North and he didn't want to get the other Guardian involved in his affairs. This was personal. He felt something hit him like someone had punched him in the stomach. His eyes widened and his heart felt like someone had squeezed it.

"Jamie...." He flew through the nearest window, ignoring the many people; he didn't even bother caring that he was making them pass through him as he zipped around the room frantically. Jamie was nearby... he could feel it... and... Jamie needed him. He was sure of it. He spotted the teen slumped against a wall and a strangled cry came from him as he moved over to the teen who was paler than he should be. Jack wasn't sure what was wrong, but he could tell that something was.

"Jamie! Jamie come on! Please! Open your eyes! JAMIE!" Jack let his staff clatter to the floor as he knelt before the teen to shake him. The teen's eyes slowly opened.

"Jack?" He croaked out, his eyes were dull.

"Jamie... I'm here Jamie... Gods... I'm sorry... I am SO sorry... I never should have left..."

"I'm... sorry Jack... I... made a mistake..."

"It's okay! I'm here now... I'll help you. I promise." A small smile touched the boy's lips, the coincidence of the lyrics of the song that was playing over the speakers was not lost on the boy even if they were lost on the winter spirit.

 

_So this is me swallowing my pride,_

_Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night._

_And I go back to December all the time._

_It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,_

_Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine._

 

_I'd go back to December turn around and change my own mind._

_I go back to December all the time_

 

There was a bitter-sweet coincidence that THIS of all songs would be playing while Jack, the one person who he loved the most, was standing in front of him now; apologizing for leaving four years before.

"I didn't mean to hurt you... Gods Jamie... I love you..." Jack ran a hand through his hair.

"I wish you would have told me before tonight... I love you Jack." Tears sprung into the winter spirit's eyes as he held Jamie close. He pressed cool lips to the warm ones and with the last of the strength that he had, Jamie returned the kiss. Even though he wasn't sure it wasn't just a hallucination from the drug. Why had he ever agreed to try ecstasy? This wasn't living up to its name exactly... 

"I've always loved you." Jamie said as the last of his breath escaped him. Jack held the boy tight, tears falling as he felt the boy's light wink out... The winter spirit cried as he hugged the boy to him; his first believer, the one person who had come to mean the most to him... He cried as the song began to end.

 

_But this is me swallowing my pride,_

_Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night,_

_And I go back to December._

_It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,_

_Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine._

_I'd go back to December turn around and make it all right._

_I'd go back to December turn around and change my own mind._

_I go back to December all the time, all the time_

 

Jack would never be able to hear this song again without bursting into tears. It reminded him of the biggest mistake he'd ever made in his life...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> geez this was tough to write... PLEASE let me know what you think.


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